Hexes and Tooth Decay by Nancy Fulda

Posted by Darwin - 26/10/09 at 04:10 pm

Hey.  It’s not like I asked to get set up in the tooth business.

It happened this way: I’d just hunkered down to breakfast beside my favorite rock.  It’s a lovely thing: all crumbling and lichen-covered.  I like it because it looks a lot like me, except it has no feet.  I was taking my first delectable bite of beetle sandwich when the sun vanished.  Fabric brushed my face, and something heavy and disturbingly cushy plopped onto my back.  I said “oof”, and forced my eyes open to see a tattered skirt and a pair of high-heeled, curly-toed boots.

“Hey, Lady,” I said–and it came out a little more gruff than I intended, what with the extra weight on my spine and all–”The rock’s over there.”

She jumped up and whirled around.  The sun was at her back, so I couldn’t see much more than the droopy hat and a frazzled snarl of hair, but I’m pretty sure she was looking back and forth between me and the boulder as though trying to figure out which of us had spoken.

I cracked my mouth open so she could see it.  “You’re blocking my light.”

She bent down and peered at me.  Her nose almost touched my face.  “And a good thing, too,” she said.  Her voice was like branches snapping in the wind.  “You look hideous.”

“Yeah, well that’s about how you smell.  You should do something for your tooth rot.”

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Written by Nancy Fulda.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 4:14 pm and is filed under Stories. The entry is tagged under comedy, fantasy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.